So often, I have a tendency to put up a facade. There is a part of me that wants to look the best I can for you/others, and it is something that I am still learning about myself. I have always known that I am a people pleaser, but I never realized the extent I go to put my best foot forward, or even create a false front, until a few weeks ago. Life has radically changed recently, and it has really given me the chance to look inward and see where the roots of my sin branch out.
I want you to know me. I do not want to build anymore facades.
I have been reading through old song lyrics that I have written, and looking back I can see my souls desire to change. Instead of address the symptoms, I am addressing the real issues and diving deeper with God. I am diving into the sanctification God offers those who He has chosen. I have been justified and seen blameless, I have been adopted by the perfect father, and I am being made sanctified. In sanctification I am made positionally holy, but it does not end there. Sanctification takes initiative from me too. I have to pursue the Lord. I have to set my mind on things above, and put to death what is sinful.
So yes, you do know me. I am the high energy guy that longs to put a smile on your face. I am someone who desires to change the world by loving people. I am the guy who loves music. I am the guy who desires to bring positivity into others lives.
I am still learning how to be transparent...to the point of it being painful. And this is one of the steps I want to take to open up and let you see inside. I am a sinner who struggles with lying, caring to much of what other people think of me, and allowing things to be more important that God in my life. These things do not define me anymore. Not be my will power, but by the grace of God.
As I move forward, I ask that you pray for me. That I will find strength in Him to overcome, that I will create new habits, and that I will have a testimony from my pain, struggle and restoration that will encourage others to pursue God more.
Blessings,
Nick
